Something With Nothing to do with Anything Here
by iamboard
Summary: Something completely out of place.
1. Chapter 1

Something With Nothing to do with Anything Here

Summary: Something completely out of place.

Disclaimer: This is a Parody. I do not own Bleach. That goes to the guy who wrote Bleach, to which I yell "EXPLAIN!"

Short Number One

"It's a hollow Ichigo, let's go!" Rukia said as she jumped out of Ichigos' closet while Ichigo pooped in the mod soul from the plushy named Kon. Rukia also exited her body and they both jumped out of the window and ran down the street to the hollow. Karin, feeling a bit random, was watching them run down the road and decided to fallow them. She arrived just as the hollow was defeated.

She decided to speak up just as they were about to leave. "Hey did you know that coffee does not wake some people up in the morning but makes them crap out much really hard shit and blood for an hour and afterwards it makes them feel as if they were violently violated in the ass hole? If the coffee does not wake you up in the morning, I bet that will." Karin said randomly.

They chased her down the road angrily. "Did you know that food poisoning goes away in eight hours? Your fluids will be exiting your body from the beginning for the first hour to the very last hour." Karin said as she was running and laughing.

"Did you know that if you apply enough force in a kick to make a football (not American football) burst into pieces, you can literally kill a person with that kick?" She continued her randomness.

"WHAT KIND OF DRUG DID HAT AND CLOGS GIVE YOU!" Ichigo yelled at her as she was saying the random thing about the football. He thought about beating up that shop keeper.

"ICHIGO SHE IS JUST A HUMAN, STOP CHASING HER IN SHINIGAMI FORM!" Rukia said as she kicked him.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND, SHE IS MY SISTER AND SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHE LOST HER MIND! I THOUGHT SHE WAS THE SINCE-ABLE ONE!" He yelled at Rukia who had him down on the ground.

"Did you know that according to Yuzu, Ichigo is scared of spiders? She said she heard him scream like a girl at one while I was at football practice. Oh and this is pay back for making me out to be crazy when I said that I saw you in shinigami form, Ichi-nii." Karin said randomly as she ran in the direction of the clinic they called home. Ichigo was now embarrassed. Rukia had learned his second worst fear. His first fear was not being able to protect the people he cared about and they all dying because of him. "I am going to have a talk with hat and clogs." He told Rukia as he got her off of him.

He went to the Urahara Shop (Shop is used because I have figured out how to put the line above the o when typing shoten. See?). He barged in and started yelling for Urahara. "HEY HAT AND CLOGS WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER!"

"Why I do not know what you mean Kurosaki?" Kisuke said with the fan already over his face.

"DO NOT PLAY DUMB WITH ME, KARIN JUST CAME TO ME WHILE I WAS IN SHINIGAMI FORM AND STARTED SPOUTING RANDOM SHIT. HOW IN THE HELL CAN SHE SEE ME AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO MAKE HER DO THIS!" He yelled in rage at the shop keeper.

"I have done nothing to her, maybe she is just in a random mood or maybe she is just made that you tried to make her look crazy when she confronted you, or maybe, just maybe, she wanted to prove to you that she can see you plain as day. She could always see them as well as you have and can sense them better then you from afar, resulting in a headache. I do not see why you would think she does not have way more than enough reiryoku and reiatsu to see you in shinigami form, or are you just in complete denial?" The shop keeper just ran thought the possibilities. Ichigo just gave up and went home thinking that the shop keeper would not tell him anything at all. When he got home he questioned his sister about this.

"Well of course I can see you, only Yuzu can't and I already told you this was pay back." She told him after he answered his questions. He gave up completely, not really believing but thinking he might just be in denial at the same time.

End of short. Could be another one coming soon in this story, but it will not be a continuation of this one.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: This is a Parody. I do not own Bleach. That goes to the guy who wrote Bleach, to which I yell "EXPLAIN!"

"Talking"

_Thinking_

Shot Number Two

Ichigo was has headed home from killing a hollow, he was tired and was looking forward to his bed. Rukia was not living in his closet for once and everything felt fine with the world. He walked in the frount door, not even bothering to come though his window to get his body. He knew his family could see him, so what did it matter. When he came in through the front door, what he saw had surprised him. Every shinigami he had ever met was in his living room in shinigami form watching Strawberry Shortcake Barry Bitty Adventures with a twenty year old Yuzu. Her twin Karin was nowhere to be seen and dad was singing the theme song to the show in shinigami form. He was somewhat angry at the sight of this. _I was out there this whole time killing hollows and doing their job and all along they could have been actually doing their job because they are in the world of the living. Fuck my life… _

He went to go find Karin. She was not at the clinic at all. He forgot that she moved out on her own to get away from their dad. He decided to go to her apartment to get away from this madness. When he got there, he found out that she was not home. He went to the Urahara Shop to ask one of the employees if they had seen her. They did not. He looked all over the town and found no trace of her. "WHERE IS MY SISTER!" He yelled to nobody in particular.

"What are you talking about stranger? What is your sister's name and what does she look like?" A stranger asked him. He described his sister and gave her name in hopes that the stranger could help him.

"Oh, I saw her fall thought some kind of portal; I presume she was on her way home." The stranger said. _Could be one of hat and clogs experiments. I will go ask him. _

He went back home and grabbed Urahara who was watching Strawberry Shortcake with all the other shinigami and his other sister. "Out of curiosity, what experiments have you been working on lately?" Ichigo asked him with as much of an inside voice as possible as to not ruin anything for the people witching the little girls show on the television.

"Well I was working on a universal portal and it did not work so I decided to try again tomarrow." Urahara said in a sing song voice.

"I think it did. Some stranger saw Karin fall though a portal." Ichigo side slightly rising his voice.

They went to the place the stranger said the portal appeared and examined it. It turned out it was a time portal. They examined where it took her and it was into the future.

The next day Karin came back telling stories of the future. This was found more interesting then the thing that turned out to be a Strawberry Shortcake marathon that everybody stayed up all night watching.

End short. Til next time.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: This is a Parody. I do not own Bleach. That goes to the guy who wrote Bleach, to which I yell "EXPLAIN!"

"Talking"

_Thinking_

Shot Number Three

"Are you sure you want me to go to France, Taichou? I mean from the reports, there not been any activity there." Rukia asked.

"Yes I am." Ukitake Jushiro confirmed to Rukia. "It is just for a day." He continued.

"Understood, Taichou." Rukia said, she then went on to get her things so she could patrol France.

When she got to France, many bazaar things were going on. People were dancing out in the street for no reason, they were using giant sausages to make male privet part jokes, and a few other things you would expect people from different parts of Europe doing on celebrations. As far as she knew it was not a holiday in France, so why are some many acting like it is?

She did not ask as she knew that nobody could see her so she sat there and waited for a hollow to show up. _This is going to be boring isn't it?_ She thought to herself while waiting.

She got bored waiting so she decided to watch everybody around her. To her surprise, this turned out to be more interesting then fighting hollows. Nobody in France seemed to be dying today either so she had some free time to think and be amused by her surroundings.

The longer she watched, the more she started to ponder why people where not dying today. It is a fact that people die of something every three seconds but nobody was dying here and it was odd. She decided to investigate why.

While investigating why this was happening, she found the atmosphere started to feel different and that it had something to do with why the people are acting bizarre. It felt like some kind of curse. She spent the rest of the day investigating this.

She returned the next day to give her Taichou a report.

"While in France I ran across something odd, not only where there not any hollows, but people where not dying either. Not only that, the people where behaving rather bizarrely. I went to investigate this and it turned up that the atmosphere felt somewhat cursed. While I am not sure what to do about this, I felt I should report it just in case it turned out to be a problem." She reported to her Taichou.

"Really you found that? I just sent you there for a surprise vacation where you could do whatever you liked and out of all the things to do; you choose to investigate some oddities in France. *chuckle, cough, chuckle, cough, cough, chuckle* you have an odd way of having fun, but what you reported is something for us to look into. Thank you or the information, I will let So-Taichou know right away." Ukitake Jushiro said, feeling somewhat amused.

He got up and went to go inform the Taichou of the first division, leaving Rukia feeling somewhat lost and shocked. _I was not there to work… I should really check my ways of having fun…_ she thought as she went to go do some paper work to not only do her job but take her mind off of what just happened in the last twenty-four hours.

End


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: This is a Parody. I do not own Bleach. That goes to the guy who wrote Bleach, to which I yell "EXPLAIN!"

"Talking"

_Thinking_

Shot Number Four

_Darn annoying ghost, they always come to me for protection now that Ichi-nii is in the Soul Society. The shinigami that is in place to do his job is not even doing his job. I guess I have been lucky so far with not getting eaten by a hollow. _Karin thought as she left her apartment to head to work.

As she walked to work, she fought off hollows that tried to eat her on the way. She was getting to the point where she did not have to seek into work and change cloths after the hollows rip apart her cloths. _Thank god nobody will have to walk in on me to see my half naked body. _She thought as she walked into the office building that she worked in. She was thankful she did not have to change clothes for a change.

She walked up to her office to find Urahara Kisuke in her office. "What are you doing here? My brother works in the world of the dead, not here." She genuinely wanted to know why he was there.

"It has come to my attention that hollows and pluses are becoming more attracted to you by the day. We need to talk about what we are going to do about this." Urahara said while disregarding the commit about her brother.

"How about I work and you go back to the store. As you can see I managed to get to work without having to change my cloths as soon as I got here. Now if you do not have a claim to file, you really do not have much reason to be here besides my reiryoku. So what is your real reason for being here?" She asked.

"The shinigami called, they want me to pick up your brother. I am not picking up your brother; however, I have not qualms about sending you to pick him up. I need to turn you into a shinigami to send you thought to get him without you getting caught though. Do not worry, I will send a mod soul in your place for your work, just drop by after work and we will get started." Urahara said as he walked out the door without leaving Karin any room for argument.

She decided not to go to the shop after work, she decided to go home. Needless to say, Urahara adducted her and removed her out of her body only to realize that her soul already took the appearance of a shinigami. Then he forced her to train and then retrieve her brother.

When they got back, Urahara got his ass chewed by two people.

End Shot


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: This is a Parody. I do not own Bleach. That goes to the guy who wrote Bleach, to which I yell "EXPLAIN!"

"Talking"

_Thinking_

Fifth and Final Shot

Urahara Kisuke was bored one day. There was nothing to do with the world of the dead; the only person who was buying anything from him was Kurosaki Yuzu. She only comes there to buy food, candy, and to see a certain red headed worker of his. So he went out on a stroll around the town. He thought about going fishing, but then decided against it as some people could walk up to him and bother him. He thought about bothering other people, but decided against it. He thought about spying on people who draw in hollows, but then decided he had done enough of that for the week. Finally he decided to settle on taking a stroll.

While on his stroll he started thinking. _What if I build a dimensional portal that does not go to the Soul Society, Hueco Mundo, or Hell? Nuh, somebody in another dimension probably has already built it. _This was one of the many ideas he thought of to do with his extra time and shot down mentally. He finally decided to go back to the dimensional portal idea as he was walking back to the shop.

He went down to the basement and started to build. A few days later, Kurosaki Karin came down to the basement, she came down there many times before just for quite time from her life, and found Urahara Kisuke nearly finished with something. "What have you built there?" She asked him.

"I am working on a dimensional portal that does not take one to the Soul Society, Hueco Mundo, or Hell. I was going to ask you to try it first when I was done building and testing it but since you're here, I can ask you now. Will you try the portal when it is finished and tested?" He asked after answering her.

"That depends, when do you predict this will be all done?" She asked in response.

"It will take until tomorrow to finish, and I am going to take a week to test it." He answered her question.

"If that is true then yes, I have vacation time from work coming up and need a way to spend it since Yuzu has move out of town and Goat Face and Ichi-nii have went to live and work in the Soul Society. Give that my vacation time is when you say it should be of use to try, I should be able to have the free time to try it." She told him.

"See you then." He said as she left.

One week and one day later, the portal was ready was ready to be tried. Kurosaki Karin had showed up to try the portal just as she said she would. It had occurred to her over the week that maybe she would not be able to get back. "Hey, I have a question that occurred to me while I was waiting, how am I supposed to get back after trying it?" She asked Urahara Kisuke.

"I made a device that allows you to make a portal from the other dimension that just goes back here." He told her and handed it to her "Do not lose it." He added after the fact.

"Okay then, here goes nothing." She said as she ran into the portal. When she got to the other side, she saw woods around her, there was what felt like a large heat wave in the area, demonic looking things were coming out of read portals to a demonic place, the atmosphere felt funny, and the people just ignored it like it happened all the time.

"Do you see what is going on in that forest?" She asked a person.

"Yes, it happens all the time, so we just defend ourselves when they come to our houses and leave them be when they are not disturbing anything. You are not from around here are you? Welcome to Wickerville." The Stanger told her.

"I am just passing through but yes, I am not from around here." She told the stranger and then walked away feeling a bit uncomfortable. She went back to the forest she started in and used the device to open the portal and crossed back though to tell Urahara Kisuke that it was a success.

When she got though, she told him all that she saw. This amused him very much. For the rest of the week, she found other things to do until she had to go back to work. It had turned out that she was gone for a week when it seemed like only an hour to her, Ichigo found out and threw a fit, her father was hoping she would bring back a husband, and her sister was hoping the same.

End.


End file.
